Cats

Jemima says we are getting two cats on Sunday. One is called Coco, the other, The Bear. Apparently they are not, nor have ever been part of a funk band.
I have never had a cat before, but I've always wanted one (or more). My experience with cats has been restricted to these -

But hopefully Coco and The Bear will be more prepared to lick me

My only concern is that, because we are adopting them, they will weewee everywhere. And if they start doing that, then what is my role in the house?

What?

Also, if one of them is a black cat, does that mean superstitious people will be buggered

Rest assured, if it takes all the sellotape and mini-Christmas-cracker instruments in the World, their debut funk odyssey will be competing for the Xmas number 1 spot. Working titles include 'My Pussy Blows', 'Pussycat Dolls are Pussycat Dollops' and 'Willy Spikes'